The Reality of Human Frailty

"We are the weird animal we are, and we seem to be straddling this gap with one foot in the animal world entirely and the other foot in something we've never been able to entirely define for ourselves"   - Bruce Cockburn

As the quote above suggests, human beings are a mixed bag, a combination of high ideals and moral shortcomings, big dreams and unfinished projects.  We want to soar like angels, but much of the time we're still crawling around in the mud on all fours.  Why do we procrastinate?  Why would we rather sleep, eat, or veg out in front of the TV than learn to play a musical instrument, or work on that book we've always wanted to write?   There are multiple reasons why resistance to change tends to be the human default position, but let's just focus on one of them.

There's no way around it; human beings are products of evolution; it took millions of years for us to reach our present position. We began in the muck and slime of animal existence, and today we're sending astronauts out into space.  But our ascendancy is a very recent phenomenon. Most of human history has been about survival; the struggle for existence.

Our ancestors didn't have the time or resources to reflect deeply on the meaning of their lives, or to hire a personal coach, for that matter.  They were too busy just worrying about where their next meal was coming from.

One powerful piece of evidence for the animal roots of our evolutionary heritage is what the great Catholic mystic, Teilhard de Chardin called "progressive cerebralization."  In simple terms, this means that as life evolved in complexity, our brains did as well.  There is a huge difference between the brain of a human and that of a reptile.  having said that, while our brains contain higher and more complex functions, they also contain the lower instinctual functions of reptiles, amphibians, fish, and even insects.  This lower brain is called the limbic system, and it is responsible for involuntary functions like eating, sleeping, and going to the bathroom.  It's also the part of the brain where old habits are stored. New habits are formed in the more complex part of the brain called the cerebral cortex.  Forming new habits involves conscious thought and a deliberate act of the will.  They are responses, not reactions, and the limbic system is used to reacting a certain way.  That's why, as the saying goes, "old habits die hard. That's why addicts have such a hard time breaking them; their limbic system is used to the addiction, and resists change.

Recovery from addiction, or any change in habit, for that matter, begins in the higher centers of the cerebral cortex, and only gradually filters down to the limbic system.  Another way of putting this is, change begins in your head, and eventually your heart will catch up.  In the meantime, your limbic system will resist the change, and will try to pull you back   to your previous habits. The common term for this is inertia, but it's also been called "limbic lag."  For more on this phenomenon as it relates to addiction, see " Relapse and the Brain by Michael Dye and Patricia Fancher."

While our brains certainly contain higher functions that make us uniquely human, remember that these cortical areas of the brain are a very recent development. We are up against millions of years of evolution; the limbic system is programmed for survival, and survival doesn't mean personal growth, self-fulfillment, or living up to your potential; those concepts are just not a part of nature’s vocabulary.

Coaching Philosophy

Part 1: What is Coaching?

Part 2: What Coaches Do?

Part 3: The Reality of Human Frailty

Part 4: Listening to The Barbarian

Part 5: The Limits of Willpower

Part 6: Indirect Change

Part 7: To Give or Not to Give Advice, That is the Question

Part 8: Transparency and Authenticity

Part 9: Don't Go Changin', to Try and Please Me

Part 10: Self-acceptance, Not Self-improvement

Post Script

For our primitive ancestors, and even for some people in certain parts of the world today, survival means protecting yourself from a hungry tiger, or protecting your family from the warriors  in the surrounding tribes.  These are called fight or flight responses. Our brains are programmed for the jungle, not for 21st-century Western Civilization.

To summarize, we have two natures, one animal and biological, and the other spiritual and  super-material.  One is programmed for survival, the other is gently nudging us toward love, creativity, and spiritual growth.  Most of our lives are spent navigating these two sides of human nature, and occupying a place somewhere in the middle' a place that belongs to neither beast nor angel, but to that fascinating creature we call the human person.

To put it bluntly, dealing with our animal nature can be a huge struggle.  The Apostle Paul describes this struggle rather eloquently in the Book of Romans, 7:15, NASV Bible, "For what I am doing, I do not understand; for I am not practicing what I would like to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate."

Sounds familiar, doesn't it? We've all done things we later regret, compromising our integrity in the process. There are times when I've eaten a lot more than I should have, times when I've allowed myself to become too intimate with women who just weren't right for me.  My mind knew it was wrong, but my heart wanted it to work.

One response to these failures is to condemn ourselves for the poor choices we've made.  But that's a little bit like condemning ourselves for having two arms, or for being too tall or too short.

Our animal nature itself is not evil.  It's only evil when we willfully and deliberately rebel against that which we know to be good, true, and beautiful.  But most of our failures, are just that, failures, they are not actions committed with malice or intent.  Our biological impulses themselves are not sinful.  Self-preservation and self-interest are not inherently sinful.  Sexual desire is not inherently sinful; neither is anger.  These impulses are part of who we are, so it's better to work with them, not against them.  In fact, many of these feelings and impulses can reveal positive things to us if we learn to understand their language.

Continue to Part 4: Listening to The Barbarian